


What you couldn't do

by bestaceinspace



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestaceinspace/pseuds/bestaceinspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It didn’t matter, anyway, Steve thought. They wouldn’t say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What you couldn't do

**Author's Note:**

> My depression was hitting me really hard when I wrote this. Also I was inspired by a wonderful fanvid called 'For blue skies'.

He took the car and drove, as fast as he could, not looking back. His mind was a blur; his eyes couldn’t see much in the dark. The headlights kept passing them by, the city seemed quiet, and, in that moment, when Steve found him, his world crashed and the clocks stopped ticking. Time didn’t exist anymore. Nothing existed anymore. Not even Steve.

He held him by his waist after crying on his chest for what it felt like hours. The light was gone from his eyes, even though the light in the middle of his chest was still burning bright. His heart had stopped, but the hope was still there. Shinning. But Steve had no hope. He was just there, trying to listen to a sound that would never ever beat. He was there waiting for a miracle. The light mocking him while he set there in the shadows.

Steve didn’t say his name until he started screaming it with all his strength, with all the weight in his heart breaking his ribs. He tried to take a breath but the air didn’t come. No breeze was coming from the open window across the room. He didn’t feel anything; he didn’t even hear anything but his own screams. He lost all his strength after just a few minutes. He fell again, resting his head on his lover’s remaining light, still down to his knees.

He held the cold body against his own and lifted them both from the ground. There was nothing Steve could do but that. No one should see him like that. Lying on the ground, a mess of blood and a few pills still left in his hand; the bottle of vodka empty by his side. He already had his eyes closed when Steve got there. He didn’t even get the time to look at Steve’s eyes before leaving. He just went away without even bothering to say goodbye.

It didn’t matter, anyway, Steve thought. They wouldn’t say goodbye.

So he took the car and drove faster and faster across the road until he could no longer see it, until they weren’t following a straight line anymore. They were going to crash anytime soon. He was finally going to say hello again and open the eyes of the person who couldn’t see him anymore.

_I’ll forgive you_. He said in a whisper, looking at the unconscious man by his side.

_What you couldn’t do, I’ll_. He kept thinking, the adrenaline pulsing inside his veins.

_You’ll take me away with you_. He promised, still looking at his side. He didn’t even care that the wheel was no longer held in his hands.

The only thing he wanted to hold, he couldn’t, but he would. Soon.

_I forgive you, Tony._


End file.
